Silhouette.
Today was a tough one. Today Abby admitted with tears that she doesn't like her 'red' hair. I truly was not expecting a simple hair brushing routine would result in this conversation. Abby wants her hair to be blond. I guess to resemble her Mommy. Or her brother {he has light brown hair}? I understood. I hugged her and told her how special she is to me, to us. She cried in my arms. It didn't matter that I told her that her hair color was so unique and beautiful. It didn't matter that I told her her locks will lighten by the summer sun. She wanted to look different and that really struck me. I've never heard her say these words about her appearance. I left the room and quietly shed a few tears myself. She's 4.5 years old and she's not happy about how she looks. I just feel really sad about that. I hope as she gets older she will embrace her lovely locks. On the other hand, she expressed her real feelings inside. And I feel grateful she was able to tell me.
She will become a confident strong minded woman who knows what she wants in life and going for it. I know she will. It's my responsibility and Nick's to have her become this. We'll be mindful not placing so much attention to her hair color. {Even though I feel such the opposite.} Like my red-headed BIL said over Facebook "it's not easy being red." I suppose it's not. xoxo
6 comments:
Very good momma..and yes you and Nick will teach her to be that strong woman...with her own mind...That is something to be proud of! And Miss Abby...as you read this..(I'm thinking 10 years from now) I hope you know...that you had and I'm sure still have the most beautiful hair in the world. I look at you and think WOW! Who knew how gorgeous real red is! Not the bottle stuff...Just like you my dear..it's got it's own Abigail shade! Love you baby girl...Momma...you rock!
Oh no this makes me sad to read. She is so beautiful. I always thought she was SO lucky to have this great hair colour. Do you think anyone had teased her about it? I remember Gia said that it happens here in Canada. So bad. Makes me mad. I hope she will feel strong enough when she gets older to embrace her own beauty. In my mind she could be a model.
Mattias asked me a couple of months back why I had choosen him. He told me I did a bad choice, because he didn't want to live. It was painful to have surgeries and be different he said. I too cried quite a bit after that.
Give Abby a big kiss from me and tell her she is GORGEOUS!!!
Love, Hege
I understand Abby. Children who are different from others (glasses, red hair, a different body which does not work so well) want to be "normal" as they think that is to be the same as the others.And teasing happens in all countries!
Even as adults try to change Abby's mind, she is still too young to believe and manege it.
But keep on dears.
Later when she is a classic model she will tell the whole world about it!
Let uncle Tyler talk with her, hugs her and take a nice picture of those two.
Love from Marion.
Hege....you brought tears to my eyes..Matthias is a very very lucky little boy...he was chosen for you both.....Matthias..you are amazing..strong..gorgeous...and all that you have been through...you help others get thru it too...I know another family that you helped more than you will ever know! May you have many healthy, happy years ahead...xo
Generally, I don't think young kids like standing out or being different for any reason. When I was little, I wished I could have a "normal" name like "Kathy" because I hated the way I couldn't introduce myself without having an adult ask me to repeat it or comment on my "interesting, different, unusual or pretty" name. I would guess that Abby often gets singled out for her pretty red hair. Of course I've grown to appreciate my name, and now I feel kind of possessive when I hear it being used for others. I'm sure Abby will grow to love and appreciate her beautiful hair. Developmentally, she likely doesn't like the extra attention it brings her right now.
To clarify Hege's comment: I was referring to pop culture caused by "ginger kids" on South Park. I highly doubt that any child Abby's age would know about that. They only way that would happen would be if an adult told them about it, which would be completely cruel and irresponsible.
Thank you Laura, Hege, Marion and Gia for leaving such heartfelt comments. xoxo I really appreciate what you said - I hope one day Abby will be able to read all your beautiful thoughts on the subject of 'red'.
Hege - your post about Mattias saying that made me really sad too. I wish we knew when our children's comments were coming so we can be better prepared on what to say on the spot.
xoxo
Post a Comment